After a
period of uncertainty the Business Link grant funds have
been released for this year. As we are SBS
registered
and now ITC registered, we can sometimes secure you funding
for marketing or web design projects.
To quickly find out
if you are eligible, click on the following
link and enter your postcode.
www.objectivetwo.co.uk/home/
As a rule of thumb, if you
are business to business rather than business to consumer
with plans to expand your business and your
postcode
gets a green tick then you could
be up for
some funding - it isn't a guarantee but it costs nothing
to find out.
Give either Tim Chorlton or Emma Southorn
a call on 0113 290 9244 if you have any
questions.
___________________________________________________________________________
If you have ever wondered why some
businesses do better than others,
usually it isn't down to luck, it's
down to getting the basics right.
To find out how your business measures
up we have created a 'good business
check list' which is free to all
our readers. To get yours, click
on the link below and fill in your
name and email address in the spaces
provided and your guide will be with
you shortly.
___________________________________________________________________________
Every-so-often the government does
something really good and it's happened
recently. If you hate having to tax
your car (digging out a tonne of
documents and joining a long, slow
queue of people at the nearest Post
OIffice) then this is the site for
you!
It might just change your life for the better
(this could be a new feature - web site of
the
month!). You need a credit/debit
card, your log book and your MOT
certificate (if you can't afford a
new
car!).
Visit and book mark it! Enjoy.
www.vehiclelicence.gov.uk
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We know
that all you really want us for is our bad
jokes
and silly sites!
As always, can we state that we aren't responsible
for the content on the sites we post below
- please view them in the light-hearted,
fun way they are intended - if you are the
type
who is easily offended and likely to complain
you might want to go here www.kountrycraftbaskets.com instead - everyone else - enjoy!
This one made us
laugh out loud a few times once we'd worked
out how to navigate it -
don't click on the fart button (unless
you have too) click on the little 'skip'
button that appears in the top right
and try and avoid the annoying banner on
the
first page. The 'Yikes it's the Boss'
button is very good.
www.officediversions.com
Can you remember
the great toys of the 70's, 80's and
90's - neither could we it turns out. We've
got about 79% at last count - this is
a
pointless but very addictive Microsoft
Excel questionnaire (you have to get
the name exactly right, but it does prompt
you when you are close.
If you have a
time waster friendly IT system then this
link should download
the file for
you if not, call Lucy and ask her nicely
so she can email it to you.
click here to download retro quiz
I know we
said we would get rid of this section,
but we couldn't help ourselves.
I'd like
to say enjoy but you probably won't!
What kind of monkey can fly?
A hot air baboon.
And if you thought that was bad!!!! There
was once a bus conductor, and he had really
bad anger management problems, one day a
woman
on the bus refused
to pay the fare. Well, the bus conductor got so angry he killed her.
He was tried
and sentenced to death by the electric chair.
The day for his execution
came, and they took him out of his cell
and brought him to the chair. The guard said, "Have
you any last requests?"
The man replied, "Yes,
I'd like an unripe green banana, please."
So they got him an unripe green banana,
and he peeled it, ate it, and threw
the skin away, and they strapped him
to the
chair.
"
Are you ready?" they asked.
"
Yes," he said.
And they hit the switch. And nothing happened. So he was
taken back to his cell.
The guards rewired the chair and tested
it a few times, and
it worked perfectly. They brought the man back and said, "Have
you any last requests?"
The man replied, "Yes, I'd like an unripe green banana,
please."
So they got him an unripe green banana, and he peeled it, ate
it, and threw the skin away, and they strapped him to the chair.
"
Are you ready?" they asked.
"
Yes," he said.
And they hit the switch. And nothing happened.
So he was taken back to his cell.
Well, the guards bought a brand new electric chair. This
one was amazing: leather seats, gold-plated armrests studded
with
rubies,
the works.
It was an incredible
sight.
They brought the man back and asked, "Have you any
last requests?"
The man replied, "Yes, I'd like an unripe green banana,
please."
So they got him an unripe green banana, and he peeled it,
ate it, and threw the skin away, and they strapped him
to the chair.
"
Are you ready?" they asked.
"
Yes," he said.
And they hit the switch. And nothing happened.
Now, in this particular state, there was a law that if
someone survived the electric chair three times, he must
be set free.
So the man was
released, and as soon as he stepped out of the prison,
the press was all over him.
He walked
through the crowd and the flashing cameras until he saw
a small man who asked, "Have
you discovered some miraculous phenomenon of unripe green
bananas?"
"
No," he replied, "I've just always been a bad
conductor."
As usual - if you can do better (and we
should hope so) send us your gags to lucyrowe@the-factory.co.uk. If
they make it past Lucy (make her giggle but
keep 'em clean) then we'll give you a mention
(unless you request anonymity - could be
for the best!!!).
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